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As per randomcelestial's request, I've uploaded one of his… - LJs Own Virtual Poetry Slam — LiveJournal

About As per randomcelestial's request, I've uploaded one of his…

Previous Entry Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 03:43 pm Next Entry
As per randomcelestial's request, I've uploaded one of his recordings.

Writing You (live)

(edited a few times to mess with hosting of the mp3)
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From:plead_insanity
Date:December 5th, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
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wow, kickass!

this little brit girl is verrrrry impressed. jealous, but impressed.

damn inspirational, too!
From:randomcelestial
Date:December 6th, 2004 02:54 am (UTC)
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I'll start with some self-critique:

this recording is much too monotone.

I don't have enough inflection or volume shifts, and because there are two significant shifts in the poem:

"...if just for one girl, you"

and

"let my .... lightning rod"

it should be clear and obvious. Other people should be able to pick the lines out for me. I think I made up for it that night with a lot of physical choreography, which I was focusing on, and so I neglected the vocal script.

the ending is a bit too whispery, and doesn't emphasize the rhyming couplet.

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